THE GARBAGE CAN CONFESSIONS

It started one week at work, after a particularly embarrassing sweets-binge, with the evidence in my garbage can.  As I looked inside, shame washed over me, and I began to wonder what the Office Cleaning Crew would think.  They don’t know me and I don’t know them.  Yet, this shameful candy evidence in my garbage can made me want to reach out to The Office Cleaning Crew …..  or the garbage can…..not sure which. 

Week #1: 

I took a paper towel and a fat sharpie then wrote the following note on it:

“I am very sorry for this disgusting candy wrapper mess in my garbage can.” 

At the end of the day on Friday I draped the note over the top of the garbage so it would not be missed. 

Week 2: 

  Ridiculously feeling the urge to make another statement about my garbage can, I wrote:

“I did not eat as much garbage (candy) this week, but, I did eat some cookies and some candy.”

There was no garbage associated with the cookies.

With that statement one has to wonder, who am I really talking to? 

The Office Cleaning Crew?

 My garbage can?   

 Myself?

God?          

Writing these notes makes me look crazy, however, I prefer to look upon it as repentance, purging, and, maybe let The Office Cleaning Crew know I am not a pig, and if I am, please know I am a human pig, and that I can laugh at myself. 

Week #3: 

It is amazing to me how much these garbage can confessions have already impacted my life.  Knowing I would be confessing to the garbage can about what I consumed during the week, the desire to eat the candy did not come.  The entire week passed with not one piece of candy passing my lips.  In addition, I walked at lunch for thirty minutes and on some days this week I even power walked every hour for three minutes. 

Friday happened next.  Sigh.  A coworker proudly announced Fritter Friday (a new idea apparently).  Who can pass on fritters?  Yes, I crumbled and had a fritter after a whole entire week of being good.

On one hand I am pleased the whole week went by sweet-free.  On the other hand I fumbled on the fritter.  I am calling that even. 

The garbage can confessions are becoming my weight-loss program.  Who knew?  Today, my note will say the following:

 “As you can see I ate a lot of salad this week and no candy.  I did have a fritter fumble.” 

As I write this, The Office Cleaning Crew comes to mind, I laugh, and wonder if they are looking forward to my confession this week.  Maybe they have not noticed.  It doesn’t matter.  The act itself of confessing my eating habits to the garbage can has obviously improved my diet.